A Southern Tribute

There’s beauty in the traditions of the South that cannot be described but merely felt. The ways of honoring the deceased and the respect shown to the family is unparalleled elsewhere in the States. And the ways in which we share in our grief, us Southerners I mean, is comforting, caring, and uplifting in ways I did not recall or notice as a child. The silver lining of funerals and the passing of our loved ones is that it brings family and friends together.

Although my grandmother, to me Mama Dot, was not nice to me as an adult, I was able to share memories of times she spoiled me as young child. Always. She always spoiled children—everyone’s children. Mostly that meant copious amounts of ice cream. My stubbornness is probably a trait passed directly from her and my ability to be coy may be as well. After all, it was lovely to return home to honor Mama Dot’s life and legacy. To be amongst family.

I left in a huff and thought it unwise to leave you hanging as if nothing had happened even though I wanted to write this week about anything and everything else. So I’ll say this short quip and not ruminate otherwise; the experience was better than expected and time with family necessary. I even snuck in time with my closest friends. I enjoyed the best grits and a lot of sunshine. I relished the feel of being truly home.

I thought I would be able to describe that feeling but I’m a bit at loss. It’s in the landscape as you drive the back country roads, the breeze rustling the leaves and the tall Georgia pines, the comfortable warmth that could be the sun or simply the aura of humans surrounding you. Even though it’s true that there is still a lot of racism and misogynistic traditions, mainly from my parents generation and older, there’s an underlying kindness that you won’t find in the West or the Northeast.

On the flight back to my new home, I watched the documentary on Jimmy Carter, called Carterland. My family has personal history with Jimmy Carter in the sweetest way so if felt apropos to carry that with me as I left Georgia. If you get the chance to watch it, I highly recommend it! Another beautiful tribute to a generous soul that could only have come out of Georgia. wink What our nation needs now more than anything is a leader like Jimmy Carter. A kind, caring soul who will fight for the rights of all humans despite it being “bad politics” causing them to be viewed as “the worst president.”

As we head into a terrifying election, may we expand our thinking and release our grasp on negativity or judgment on others. May we see people and learn to love them. May we vote for the good rather than against our fears (and stop believing the fear tactic political campaigns). May we spread love instead of hate and may we speak to each other with curiosity rather than disdain. I hope this above all else.

So despite my family not loving me the way I wish to be loved, I understand they do love me. Even though their actions demonstrate the adverse simply by treating me as a Christian duty (no one likes to feel like an obligation) or judging my actions since I do not follow their beliefs, I understand they think they are acting out of love for me. It leaves me grateful for escaping. For leaving the hypocrisy of the Church. For discovering how to truly love others for being themselves. I also feel a deep gratitude for the beauty of hymns and their sentiments and the nature of good that comes out of being raised in the South. The respect, the graciousness, the love.

I didn’t know I missed these ideals. I didn’t know the mixture of good with bad and the complexities that abound. Like the groves of uprooted pecan trees due to Hurricane Helene that will take a generation to heal, I believe it’s probably time we are also uprooted. Time to decide what to keep and what to change for the better.

Time to heal.

image credit: Aaron Burden @aaronburden